Once again I was at a conference in a very well known location for those in the insurance industry – Lloyd’s of London. The iconic building on this occasion gave me a prison break type feeling.
After going through a round of security at the entrance to get to the conference, I needed my morning crack (I mean, break) before we got started.
I can’t remember which floor I was on but I’m assuming they were all the same. These toilets were very prison like.
There were 20 cubicles in a row, next to 20 sinks in a row, next to 20 urinals in a row.
I couldn’t believe that people dressed in suits and ties actually work here every day. I’d expect the users to be chained up and cuffed.
The walls were made of aluminium with no attempt to paint over the raw aluminium dull silver. The floor was a beige tiled floor with black grouting.
I went into the aluminium cubicle which obviously was freezing cold and gave the seat a wipe. Surrounded by metal sheets all I could think about was how long I could make the prison guard wait before he used his truncheon to bang on my cubicle door and hurry me up.
I seriously couldn’t have likened it to anything else. And the worst thing is they even put the toilet roll in prison. This stupid toilet roll dispenser was impossible to use. My hand was being cut up by the razors they’d installed to punish the prisoners when they reached for the tissue because there was such a small hole to reach up into.
Poor little toilet roll.. straight from prison to death row. What a sad life.
The only thing that would make you believe you were in the Lloyd’s of London was the auto shoe polish machine with 4 different types of buffers by the sink. I gave my shoes a better clean than I did my ass.
Rating: Lloyd’s of London – 2 Stars