Queuebical!

I’ve witnessed the British public’s passion for queuing for many years. And as a British person, I’m proud of my queuing.

Over the years I’ve been able to stroll into the men’s, do my business and walk out again whilst my female companion (wife, friend, mother …) is still queuing with her legs crossed.

If they’re doing a number 1, it really shouldn’t take that much longer than it does for a man. They may have to remove some additional items of clothing but there are more cubicles in the ladies room than there are in the men’s. Generally speaking they will have as many cubicles as we would have cubicles + urinals.

So are all these women doing a number 2? Probably not.

Why is it taking them so long? Cleaning. Women clean toilets every time they go for a wee. And I can understand that. The worst part of my visit to a public toilet is the cleaning. It takes most of my time.

The only time a woman will be out of the toilet before a man is when the toilet is uncleanworthy. At this point she hovers…and hovering really tests the legs!

But be advised… there is one exception to the above common rules of queuing.

I’ve often had to travel up and down the country by car. Sometimes leaving so early it’s still dark. At which point I need to stop off and go about my daily routine at 9 o’clock (ish). So I stop off at motorway services.

Between the hours of 8 and 10 every morning, at every motorway services (possibly in the world) you will witness something that will shock you. A natural disaster. Yes that’s right, you will see men queuing for the cubicles.

I’m telling you, not only my body explodes at that time of the morning.  Every time I join that queue I can hear the words… Rectum one… WinningthePooh nil.

Image result for british people queuing

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